St Jane’s School for Ice Cream by Patrick Cullen

Jane stands up on a chair in front of assembly:

Jane: Attention everyone! I have an announcement! After months of meetings and talks between us the students, the cafeteria and the parents association I am pleased to announce as your class president that starting today, we will have ice cream and jelly after every meal! When I ran on an icecream platform for the job of class president a lot of people thought I was crazy. They said ‘Ice cream? For Lunch? At our school? No way!’ or ‘I’m lactose intolerant, I can’t eat ice cream!’ and even ‘How is ice cream going to help my grades?’ But we showed them! You believed in me and I believed in you! And now we have finally achieved our dreams! No more will we head back to class after lunch feeling tired and sad – because this is no longer St Margaret’s School for girls but St Janes School for Ice Cream! So please form an orderly cue over here and remember a vote for Jane is a vote for freedom!