Jamie monologue from Long Day's Journey Into Night

Jamie’s monologue

JAMIE {swaying and blinking in the doorway -—in a loud voice). What ho What ho.

EDMUND {sharply). Nix on the loud noise

JAMIE {blinks at him). Oh, hello, Kid. [With great seriousness]

I’m as drunk as a fiddler’s bitch.

5EDMUND {dryly). Thanks for telling me your great secret.

JAMIE {grins foolishly). Yes Unnecessary information Number One, eh?

{He bends and slaps at the knees of his trousers.)

Had serious accident. The fron’ steps tned to trample on me. Took advantage of fog to waylay me Ought to be a hghthouse out there. Dark in here, too {Scowling ) What the hell is this, the morgue?

Lesh have some light on subject.

10{He sways forward to the table reciting Kipling.) Ford, ford, ford o’ Kabul river, Ford o’ Kabul river in the dark! Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an’ they will surely gmde you ’Cross the ford o’ Kabul nver in the dark.”

{He fumbles at the chandelier and manages to turn on the three bulbs.)

Thash more like it. To hell with old Gaspard. Where is the old tightwad? Can’t expect us to live in the Black Hole of Calcutta,

{His eyes fix on the bottle of whisky.)

Say! Have I got the DT's?

15{He reaches out fumhlingly and grabs it.)

By God, It’s real. What’s matter with the old man tonight? Must be ossified to forget he left this out. Grab opportunity by the forelock. Key to my success.

{He slops a big drink into a glass.)

EDMUND. You’re stinking now. That will knock you stiff.

JAMIE. Wisdom from the mouth of babes. Can the wise stuff Kid. You’re still wet behind the ears.

20{He lowers himself into a chair, holding the drink carefully aloft}

EDMUND. All right. Pass out if you want to.

JAMIE Can’t, that’s trouble. Had enough to sink a ship, but can’t sink, here’s hoping. {He drinks.)

Excerpt for study and audition practice. Read the full play for context.