Original Monologue By Joseph Arnone

“Don’t look at me. (points) You. Eh, eh, eh…when I address you, do not look at me. No eye contact. Is that understood? Look away. (beat) Okay, look at me now. (snaps her fingers) I told you not to look at me. Even if I tell you to look at me, do not look at me. Understood? Good, good darling.

(she removes her gloves and hands them to her assistant)

Oh! I have something in my eye, can you help me? (pointing) Looking, looking, looking! NO looking under all circumstances.

You must raise up that attention span of yours. A fish could retain more darling. That is true. I have read it. Less attention span than a fish.

Do not let that be you darling.”

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