Teacher monologue from Easy A

Teacher’s monologue

I'm hearing things, Olive. You know what I'm talking about. Since everyone puts everything up on Facebook for the world to see. What's with this need your generation has to document every single thought that ever enters your head? They're not all gems, you know. "Roman is having an okay day and hopes the ice cream store still has rocky road." Who gives a rat's a—?

I guess it wouldn't matter so much if I didn't like you. You're a great girl and I happen to think that all of… this is just an act. I'm just curious why you're doing it. I just don't want to see this… damage you. You're one of the few who've actually read the book. If I get one more paper talking about how Hester always took baths and spoke with a terrible British accent… (smiles) I'm really sorry I had to send you to the principal. If you tell anybody, I'll deny it, but I really wanted to cheer with the rest of the class.

Excerpt for study and audition practice. Read the full play for context.