Alex scene from Lucky Us, practice script

ALEX

What do you say we start this date over?

LUCY

You’re not going to make me walk all the way back to the car, are you?

ALEX

No, we’ll do it right here. (Then) Hi, I’m Alex Kinney.

LUCY

I’m Lucy Reed.

ALEX

Nice to meet you. (Then) So I hear you’re an architect. What firm do you work for?

LUCY

Thaxter, Richmond and Braverman.

ALEX

You’re kidding.

LUCY

No, why? Do you know them?

ALEX

I just sued them for trying to build a strip mall on top of some wetlands.

LUCY

I designed that strip mall. Oh my God, you’re not that awful hippie lawyer, are you?

ALEX

And you couldn’t be that female architect who cares nothing for the migratory geese that will go extinct if you get rid of the wetlands.

LUCY

There’s a water park nearby. I’m sure they can work something out.

ALEX

Yeah, maybe the geese can stand in line waiting for a turn on the water flume so they can lay their eggs.

LUCY

If they could be trained, that’s not a half bad idea.

ALEX

I’m being sarcastic! Here’s a little tip about how to tell if I’m being sarcastic--if I’m saying something that could never happen in a million years--that’s sarcasm. Like-- hey, this date is sure going well. Would you marry me?

LUCY

Would you calm down? They’re just some stupid birds. You know, you animal freaks--

ALEX

Animal freaks? So caring if a species disappears makes me an animal freak?

LUCY

That, and the bumper sticker on your car that says, "Have you hugged a fish today?"

ALEX

That sticker has nothing to do with me being an animal lover. I put that on there to get women. And let me tell you, it’s the best dollar twenty-five I’ve ever spent.

LUCY

The only kind of woman that would go for a sticker like that eats tofu and has hairy legs.

ALEX

Hey, I’ve never minded a little hair. Mustache, I draw the line.

LUCY

I spent a year of my life designing that mall only for you to come along and wreck it. You know, you can’t stop progress forever.

ALEX

How can you call it progress when these geese travel a thousand miles every year expecting to find wetlands to spend the winter in but instead find--

LUCY

A Cinnabon? Which my mall had two of, by the way.

ALEX

Hey, why didn’t you say Cinnabon? Maybe the geese can spend the winter there nesting on a mound of cinnamon buns.

LUCY

Yeah, but who’d want to eat them after they sat all over them?

ALEX

I’m being sarcastic again!

LUCY

I know!