Rachel scene from Hitched, practice script

RACHEL

To us.

BRETT

Mr. and Mrs. Applebaum. I’m aware by the way, you downgraded in the last name department.

RACHEL

Small price to pay for a lifetime with you.

BRETT

Drachma for you thoughts? Forgot to exchange them back into dollars...

RACHEL

Nothing really. Just was thinking how I married a great guy and how much I’d love to have four kids - two naturally, and adopt two. That way no one feels left out.

BRETT

Wow. You thought all that in the four seconds we weren’t speaking?

RACHEL

I move fast. What about you?

BRETT

Very similar. Definitely as far as procreation goes. With a little more emphasis on the thing we didn’t...you know... do on our honeymoon.

RACHEL

That’s actually exactly what I was thinking.

BRETT

It was no one’s fault.

RACHEL

I know. Believe me.

BRETT

There were Acts of God involved.

RACHEL

Totally. It’s just... is it weird? An omen of some kind?

BRETT

Not at all. Do you know how many couples go away on their honeymoon and just plow -

RACHEL

Don’t say plow.

BRETT

Excuse me. Make love. And how many of those marriages end in divorce? We’re doing this thing totally differently. We zig when others zag.

RACHEL

It’s a marathon. We’ve only been together nine months. We’re pacing ourselves.

BRETT

Exactly. (Beat) Honeymoon’s not over yet...

RACHEL

Meet me in the bathroom.

BRETT

Really? Great. Ok. You head off. I’m gonna grab something out of my bag - not that I don’t love the kid plan but -

RACHEL

Marathon.

BRETT

Exactly.

RACHEL

(Goes to get up. stops)

Wait. Is this illegal?

BRETT

Depending on what country we’re flying over right now, it could be viewed as an act of terror. Is that a problem?

RACHEL

Actually, it kinda turns me on.