Ashley scene from Hot Mama, practice script

HOLLY

Well, it’s official. The time my halter-top flew off on Space Mountain is no longer my most awkward moment.

ASHLEY

I’m gonna remember this my whole life.

HOLLY

That’s what the ride operator said. (Beat) Honey, I’m so so so sorry I embarrassed you, but I thought you were sleeping over Hilary’s.

ASHLEY

I came home to get my stuff. I can’t believe I’m asking my mother this, but what happened to your other date?

HOLLY

He was a jerk. He ditched me cuz he couldn’t handle the whole "teenage kid thing" and I guess I looked upset, so Mr. Wimbish came over and we talked and...

ASHLEY

Got it. Saw it. Hated it.

HOLLY

You didn’t get this upset when I dated your orthodontist.

ASHLEY

I was nine, things are different. When I was little I loved that you were pretty and men looked at you, but now that I know why they’re looking at you...well, ewww.

HOLLY

Look, nothing happened. And I’ll never see Mr. Wimbish again, okay?

ASHLEY

Mom, the problem is not just Mr. Wimbish. It’s...everything about you.

HOLLY

Oh, everything about me? Well, no problem, I can fix that.

ASHLEY

Mom, in one day you forgot it was parent teacher night, you brought a date because of fear of roots, you’re wearing a ten-inch skirt, and I come home and find you on the couch with my favorite teacher.

HOLLY

But I didn’t do any of that to hurt you.

ASHLEY

I know. But it’s like you’re a teenager.

HOLLY

(Flattered)

Really?

ASHLEY

I didn’t say you look like a teenager, you act like one. You’re impulsive and selfish and I wish you’d stop. It’s embarrassing and gross.

HOLLY

Well maybe I wish you’d stop acting like my mother. It’s boring and annoying.

ASHLEY

Be a Mom!