Elder Price monologue from The Book Of Mormon

Elder Price’s monologue

by Matt Stone, Robert Lopez, and Trey Parker

Well, well… If it isn’t the SUPER MORMON. Spreading “the word”?! Making more – BRAIN WASHED ZOMBIES?! How is it YOU converted all those people into Mormons! You get everything you pray for. YOU’RE doing everything I was supposed to do. Doesn’t that seem a little telling to you?! The universe doesn’t work the way we were told! When I was nine years old… My family took a trip to Orlando, Florida. It was the most wonderful, most magical place I had ever seen. I said to myself “THIS is where I want to spend eternity!” My parents told me that if I made God proud, and did whatever the church asked, in the Latter Days I could have whatever I wanted. So I WORKED and I WORKED. And even when I studied Mormon stories and I thought, ‘That doesn’t make ANY SENSE’, I KEPT WORKING because I was told ONE DAY — I would get my reward!! Planet Orlando! But what do I have now? I can’t even get a ticket home…

Excerpt for study and audition practice. Read the full play for context.