The Book Of Mormon – Elder Price

The Book of Mormon Monologue

by Matt Stone, Robert Lopez, and Trey Parker

ELDER PRICE: Well, well… If it isn’t the SUPER MORMON. Spreading “the word”?! Making more – BRAIN WASHED ZOMBIES?! How is it YOU converted all those people into Mormons! You get everything you pray for. YOU’RE doing everything I was supposed to do. Doesn’t that seem a little telling to you?! The universe doesn’t work the way we were told! When I was nine years old… My family took a trip to Orlando, Florida. It was the most wonderful, most magical place I had ever seen. I said to myself “THIS is where I want to spend eternity!” My parents told me that if I made God proud, and did whatever the church asked, in the Latter Days I could have whatever I wanted. So I WORKED and I WORKED. And even when I studied Mormon stories and I thought, ‘That doesn’t make ANY SENSE’, I KEPT WORKING because I was told ONE DAY — I would get my reward!! Planet Orlando! But what do I have now? I can’t even get a ticket home…